I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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