i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
