He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
