We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She's like a pop up book from hell.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
