everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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