its not stalking. its research.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
