This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
