why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
