What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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