oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize