don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
