We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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