look no pants
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
