we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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