i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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