meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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