How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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