Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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