Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
