Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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