doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize