dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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