I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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