are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
