Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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