I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need to calm my uterus...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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