This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
