Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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