I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Come see our sink grown plant.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
