Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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