Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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