I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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