so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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