dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
