who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
