you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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