they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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