stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
