dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
