i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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