I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
