apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
