there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
