people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize