got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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