**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize