based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
