Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize