Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
