dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize