we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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