My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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