im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
