found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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