She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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