im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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