I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
