Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
