His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
