i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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