That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
