so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
