can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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